Monday, January 30, 2012

A dream and a song. Neither is happy, but both are necessary.

The Song.

I'm at a party.

It's a dream party, so the house is one to which I've never been owned by someone whom i know (and know well enough to say that they'd never live there).  There are more rooms inside than the outside should allow.

A dream house hosting a dream party.

The halls and doors lead from ballroom to bedroom to rompus to rec. room.  Kitchen to porch to patio to garden to greenhouse; everything is inside and I am here and


And She is here with me.

Or...or, she was and now she is gone.
She has moved to another room.
And I am alone.
 
People are drinking and laughing and I know all of them (though i couldn't name a single face in the crowd) and all around me the party whirls and twirls and I'm looking for only one Girl.

"Where is She?"

Laughter and looks and pointing fingers throw me in circles around this strange, impossible house.

I wander through a bedroom, familiar in every way save for the ways that make it Someone's room.
It is not mine.

This is not my house and I am lost and all I want to do is find Her.

I can't.  She is gone and She has left me at this party to be with another man.  She brought me here and now she is with another Him.

Not Me.  Him.

I sit at the bar (of course this place has a bar for the brokenhearted dreamer) and order my glass of Smooth Defeat, on the Rocks, with a Twist.

Sip.
Sigh.
Sip.
Sigh.
Sip...
Wait.
Who did I come here with?

I came alone.  And She was with Him the whole time.

Two strangers who were friends, circling each other at the same party.
And I sip my drink and smile for her happiness.

And then I wake up.

A weep for my Loss.