I'm poor. Financially, at least. rich enough am i to say that i'm a happy bloke/dude/man/fucker and even if They offered me a fistfull o' dolores(the spanish pronunciation of dollars, not the woman's name...though the idea of being offered a fistful of a grown woman as incentive is pretty funny) i'd still wipe my ass with the letterhead of the contract for a goddamn business ruining mind numbing Reality SHOW...gah.
did i mention the ranting?
more to follow, gym first.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Too Much Brain
Wikipedia is a magic place. They tell me.
I was bored and went to the magical forum of uselessness brain fill that is the Wiki and, in my awe inspiring humility, decided to gague my IQ against that of the average homo-suckface. Huzzah, i'm smrt. More than that i checked what is considered average and realized that these numbers were insisting to me that normalcy is shaped like a national geographic teet or a school house rock diagram of a dildo both of those things make me think that the people living on that purple pants rocket are fucked. not fair right? i mean, here i am, presumably more intelligent than the dude next to me and i feel like all my heightened brain matter is doing for me is filling me with self doubt, the desire to create extra wordy hyper-introspective blog posts, and the small comfort that i can someday find myself SELF-ACTUALIZED which (in normal people speak) means i'll become a rich ass-hat with no concern for how people view me. i think that might be cool but i DIGRESS...
'too much brain' means i think that whats happened in the flow chart of smart-people-ness has me in a valley whose opposite wall stretches off the grid into the realm of the ascended (shaved head beardy types with long names and very small meal plans), the dead (the dead dont come back to life unless we force them and when we do they're PISSED, so i figure dead people know something i dont) and Michael Phelps (honestly! the man takes in and burns more calories in a day than i do in a week so either he's got the brain power of a modestly sized MIT classroom hiding under his swim cap or he's a nine foot dick...and i've seen the man in a speedo and i doubt David Blaine could make that kind of magic happen)...alright i'm kidding about phelps, but anyway...
BRAINS! they only serve their users in respect to their number when working towards a genius grant or making computers that play chess rather well and to the rest of us it really does just seem to be a burden. i like knowing lots of words and appreciating the difference between modern and contemporary theatre (with an -re, even) but honestly i feel i could be a good deal less intelligent and thusly more happy. think about the real brain people: Poe, Shakespeare, Einstein...they all had big brains etc and yet their persnal lives were fucked.
i look at it this way: you're either just smart enough to know that you're not too terribly bright and will thusly become okay with it, smart enough to have a MacBeth-like desire for more brain and would be willing to eat stephen hawkings wheelchair to obtain said brain matter, or your so smart that you dont give a hump who stephen hawking is: you've got your Genius Grant and you gan royally fuck off if you've written some BOOK.
I was bored and went to the magical forum of uselessness brain fill that is the Wiki and, in my awe inspiring humility, decided to gague my IQ against that of the average homo-suckface. Huzzah, i'm smrt. More than that i checked what is considered average and realized that these numbers were insisting to me that normalcy is shaped like a national geographic teet or a school house rock diagram of a dildo both of those things make me think that the people living on that purple pants rocket are fucked. not fair right? i mean, here i am, presumably more intelligent than the dude next to me and i feel like all my heightened brain matter is doing for me is filling me with self doubt, the desire to create extra wordy hyper-introspective blog posts, and the small comfort that i can someday find myself SELF-ACTUALIZED which (in normal people speak) means i'll become a rich ass-hat with no concern for how people view me. i think that might be cool but i DIGRESS...
'too much brain' means i think that whats happened in the flow chart of smart-people-ness has me in a valley whose opposite wall stretches off the grid into the realm of the ascended (shaved head beardy types with long names and very small meal plans), the dead (the dead dont come back to life unless we force them and when we do they're PISSED, so i figure dead people know something i dont) and Michael Phelps (honestly! the man takes in and burns more calories in a day than i do in a week so either he's got the brain power of a modestly sized MIT classroom hiding under his swim cap or he's a nine foot dick...and i've seen the man in a speedo and i doubt David Blaine could make that kind of magic happen)...alright i'm kidding about phelps, but anyway...
BRAINS! they only serve their users in respect to their number when working towards a genius grant or making computers that play chess rather well and to the rest of us it really does just seem to be a burden. i like knowing lots of words and appreciating the difference between modern and contemporary theatre (with an -re, even) but honestly i feel i could be a good deal less intelligent and thusly more happy. think about the real brain people: Poe, Shakespeare, Einstein...they all had big brains etc and yet their persnal lives were fucked.
i look at it this way: you're either just smart enough to know that you're not too terribly bright and will thusly become okay with it, smart enough to have a MacBeth-like desire for more brain and would be willing to eat stephen hawkings wheelchair to obtain said brain matter, or your so smart that you dont give a hump who stephen hawking is: you've got your Genius Grant and you gan royally fuck off if you've written some BOOK.
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